i don’t think i want to think about it
Two nights ago, I dreamed I was climbing a steep wall. I approached the wall at first, thinking it was just a steep, grassy hill. There was something at the top I was trying to get to, and I thought if I used my hands and feet, I could make it to the top. But as I started to climb, the hill got steeper. I’d barely made any progress when I discovered that the hill was now a wall, with shallow footholds and nothing but slippery, loose dirt to hold. Stray branches jutted out and broke off with a sharp crack when I tried to grab them. I dared not look down, but above me, there were people falling off the ledge at the top feet-first, head-first, sideways and spinning. My heart raced and I began to hyperventilate. I was stranded on the side of a cliff with nothing but an abyss below and a crumbling wall above. Sweat from my palms dripped down my forearms and I tried to cry for help, but my panic only allowed a feeble whimper. I sobbed and whimpered and people were falling all around me. My entire body shook, causing the rocks around me to loosen and skip down the cliff. I had no hope until suddenly, another climber reached me after hearing my weak cries for help. He had oxygen and water. As he placed the oxygen mask on my face, I felt my body relax, cool down and regain strength. My palms dried up and my grip tightened, and with my newfound vigor, I continued the climb. As I pushed with my foot, I dug my right hand into the wall above me. Soon, I was at the ledge on top of the cliff. I held on to the ledge with my hands, unable to push myself up. Once again, help came to rescue me. All I could see above me was a hand, outstretched, inviting me to safety. With the final strength inside me, I desperately grasped it. I felt myself lifted onto the narrow ledge and I finally saw what was on the other side: a clear, cool, deep pool of beautiful blue water. I jumped in, feeling the water rush over my face and soak my dusty clothes. There were others in the pool, jumping in it from the ledge, diving deep and rushing back to the surface, some floating with the sun on their faces. I felt safe. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the people who jumped off the wrong side of the cliff. Or how I possibly made it to the oasis.